Well, the much-anticipated airport “movie scene” was kinda ruined thanks to me missing my flight from Atlanta to Asheville (‘preciate that one Delta…BONK). So, instead of arriving in Asheville at 6pm, I got there at midnight, and Eric found me waiting on a curbside bench beside my luggage being emo. (Surprise, surprise.) So maybe all that didn’t end up the way we imagined, but that first real life (post-Thailand) hug and kiss will forever be a favorite memory. Gah, being with him in real life (and not on Skype!) was more amazing that I ever imagined…there really are no words to describe how much that boy means to me. Ok, I think I’m going to shut up about all that now before I get too mushy.

So I stayed in Asheville a couple of days, spending most of my time cuddling, watching ESPN, and eating American food. (AKA: closest thing to heaven ever.) It was the perfect time of year to be there, too, because the leaves looked a-mazing and the weather was great. Asheville really is my new favorite place in the world, especially during the fall. (sigh) So anyway, I got to hang out with Mark, Jason, and Saus a little, and I met several of the other Asheville boys as well. I even skipped out on watching Tennessee play to go watch Eric and the boys play football. (Actually, with how the Vols are playing this year, I probably saw a better game. Haha.) It was also so great to finally meet Eric’s mom; she’s amazing, and I really enjoyed talking to her.

Eventually we found our way back to Tennessee and I finally got to see my own parents! It was so cute…Madre had the house all clean and smelling yummy with fall-scented candles and she had a perfect chili dinner ready and waiting on us. (GASP! Yes, you read that correctly…she really cooked! Haha!) I practically jumped out of the car before it stopped to run see Chloe as she ran through the front yard to meet me. (Actually, I knew better than to let her have her choice between seeing Eric or me first, because I’m sure she would have picked Eric. Haha…That theory would be proven true later as she chose to cuddle next to him on the couch more than me during our stay in Chattanooga. Haha.) So yeah, being home was great. I got to see a lot of people, but the stress of cramming in random hang-outs continued to get to me. I gotta say that I’m a blessed person to have so many people at home who love and miss me, and I truly am sorry if I missed hanging out with anyone. Not having a phone or car definitely put a damper on all that for sure. I tried to drive one day, and maaaaaybe I ended up driving on the wrong side of the road one time. That was quite embarrassing and scary. So most of the time, I just had the boyfriend drive me to Cleveland or wherever and bummed his phone to call people. Going to Cleveland was weird because I hadn’t been there since graduation. It’s like everything was different, but nothing had changed at the same time. I felt old and jaded by the real world, longing to return to the happy college bubble of 3am hangouts and intramurals and where the worst thing that could happen was having to wake up at 8am to finish some stupid paper. Ha. Oh, those were the days…RIP 2159. #cebaxter #taylormobley

I am SO thankful for the time I had at home. I was worried whether or not it would be wise to visit because I knew it would be hard to leave all over again. But honestly, I needed it. I desperately needed refreshing in every aspect of my life. I’ve been wiped out in Thailand with sickness, boredom, monotony, and maybe even a little depression, so I had to get out for a while. So do I regret coming home for a mere 2 weeks? Heck no. I needed to be reminded of my purpose in Thailand, and God provided that for me. When I went to take Daddy some Waffle House for lunch at work (I know, we’re so cute.), he took me around to say hey to some teachers, and something Diana Rodgers said to me is exactly what I needed to hear and it’s what I’ll hold on to for the next 7 months. She for sure quoted one of my own blogs to me and then she said something like, “You know, you really get it [what God's doing]…you don’t know that you get it, but you do.” Ok so seriously, that almost brought me to tears, and though I blindly question everyday why I’m back in Thailand, that statement somehow brings me peace.

I realized over the past 2 weeks that God has GOT TO have my entire heart…not just part of it. It hurts to admit that he doesn’t have it all already, but that doesn’t make it any less true. It’s like I know it’s true, but I mean, how do you fall more in love with Christ? There’s not just a formula for that kinda stuff, and it’s not just something you can check off a cute little Christian t0-do list. “Fall in love with Jesus? CHECK.”  Come on people…let’s get real here. It’s a day to day thing that takes constant work, and I just have to put forth the effort. I plan on doing that.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 [The Message] – This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you”—God’s Decree—”bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.”

Well well well…if you look at those verses in the context of my Thailand situation, that’s what’s up. It describes where I’m at with God perfectly I do believe…

So, I’ve decided that saying goodbye to someone you love is quite possibly one of the worst feelings in the world. The moment Eric and I hugged and kissed goodbye in that airport will forever be ingrained in my memory, making my heart hurt more each time I think about it until I return to that airport in May. I can’t shake the thought of seeing him walk away while I stood in line at security. But knowing what I have waiting for me at home in May makes everything worth it. And of course the anticipation of what God’s going to do in both of our lives over the next 7 months makes it all worth it as well. It’s easy to say “God’s in control and His timing is perfect” but the actual believing that is a whooooole ‘nuther story. The first 6 months of this Thailand journey of faith was hard, but I know these next 7 months will really put my faith to the test. I know this recent-homesickness will be gone soon as I slip into the routine of work and Skype, so I’m looking forward to what all God has in store for me this time around…

I’m out. //Cwalk.