I’ve always been the Queen of Advice. (I’m also the Queen of Modesty if you haven’t noticed, too. Haha.) I’m just saying…I pride myself in what I have so eloquently dubbed “Blackhole time” with my best friends. That’s when whatever is said under the title of “Blackhole time” remains between whoever is there…it’s like a buffet of drama, issues, and verbal vomit with a side of no judgment or gossiping and amazing advice for dessert. So yeah…I absolutely love listening to my friends and their stories and following up with some killer advice that I would probably ignore myself if the roles were reversed, just because I’ve never been a pro at the self-preservation thing. I will say that I’ve gotten better though…and I’ll give the whole blogging hobby some props on this one because I’ve been able to look back at past posts and remind myself of what I need to be doing and what I should be focusing on. Getting all of my thoughts out and just hurling them aimlessly into cyberspace does indeed serve a purpose, for me at least. Taking one’s own advice is an art that I haven’t perfected quite yet, but I’m a work in progress.

So anyway…I’ve preached time and time again that it’s not wise to countdown and wish your life away. Ha. Yeah, I say that while simultaneously being the girl with 5 different countdowns prominently displayed for the world to see on the dashboard of her laptop. Oh, not only that…on every calendar I own, I for sure have a number plastered right smack in the middle of each day of the week…just in case I forget how many days I have left before I come home. I know, I’m crazy…but I just can’t help but want October 7th to get here as soon as possible. I seriously cannot wait until I land in Asheville, North Carolina and I get to run off that plane and jump into Eric’s arms. I know…I’m the cheesiest person on earth right now, but I don’t even care. Like I’ve said from the very beginning, this is a season of waiting in my life and I suck at being patient. God is forcing me to rely solely upon Him to meet my needs and fulfill my heart’s desires, and though I’m incredibly thankful for the opportunity to fall even more in love with God, it’s still hard to be so far away from those I love back home. I really am the luckiest girl on the planet…I couldn’t ask for better friends and family that’s for sure. I love being able to talk on Skype basically whenever I want. My mom and I had a great 2 hour conversation until 4am one night last week, and it was one of those conversations that I’ll remember forever. We talked about everything–life decisions, work drama, relationships, etc. It was great. My wonderful daddy is super fun to talk to at work because he’s always bragging about me to everyone at his office. :) Eric always knows just what to say to make me smile, and he is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever known. I seriously thank God for him everyday because even just thinking about him makes me feel better if I’m having a bad day.

Ok, so I guess I’ll have to admit that I’m slightly emo today. I am missing home, and the homesickness is creeping up along with for-real sickness (again). The “honeymoon” period is officially over for me in Bangkok. The newness has worn off and I’m tired. I love my life, don’t get me wrong, but I’m just starting to get the 3-month blues. I gotta stay positive though…only 2 months to go until I’m home for a few days. The thought of that is enough to keep me going.

Confession–I’m starting to freak out a little bit about next year when I move back for good. I love the idea of having a plethora of of opportunities and choices just laid out before me, but the uncertainty is terrifying to me. I really want to go to UNC for grad school, but I got my GRE study books in the mail and I can’t even read the words and formulas in the front cover, much less piece together any kind of knowledge that will help me pass that exam. I’m a pretty self-confident person, but I’m seriously doubting my abilities in astrophysics right now. It will be a miracle if I pass. So, because I over-analyze everything, I can’t help but wonder what my backup plan is going to be if I don’t pass. Nashville? Atlanta? Tampa? Chattanooga? I have no idea….but I do know that I’m not really wanting to teach, but if I have to I will. I try to take life a day at a time, and I know this is just another test…another exercise to perfect my faith. I have no choice but to trust that God is in control and working everything out the way it’s supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason, I just have to wait and see how it all works out in the end.

I mean, so far…everything in my life has been worth the wait. I’m sure the best is yet to come.

I’m out. //Cwalk.